Love isn’t a simple concept. It’s not about whether it’s true or not, but about how you interpret it. Once you feel it, it becomes a truth of your nature. But when complications arise or the elements of that love aren’t straightforward, it’s often misinterpreted as bad. Love, despite being emotional, should be grounded in reason and appropriateness. This complexity is why people sometimes hold back. But what if they don’t? Are there reasons why people don’t hold back?
A woman once shared with me that her most heartbreaking love song (at the time) was Macy Grey’s “I Try.” The melody didn’t strike me as particularly sad at first, but the lyrics, which echoed her own love story, painted a different picture. This connection made the song’s sadness palpable, and it’s easy for anyone to understand and feel the pain behind this song (listen at the end of this article).
For those who have experienced it, the complications of love are inevitable. But for those who haven’t, it may be puzzling. Why persist in love with complications, unlikely to be happy, and unlikely to have a happy ending? For some, the answer may lie in a mindset that doesn’t see it as wrong from the start. But for those who are genuinely ‘in love,’ there’s usually a reason, a reason that’s often born out of empathy and understanding.
Based on inquiries and various experiences, it may be challenging to determine the reasons why some individuals lack self-restraint, but the root cause is often easier to identify. There are two leading causes: ignorance and unintentional.
Not knowing means truly not knowing that he had someone else before, or even after, or not knowing that it was complicated, or not knowing that he was being tricked, or something else. Even though the root cause is ignorance, which doesn’t seem wrong, outsiders will naturally think and feel, “After finding out, why didn’t you withdraw? Why didn’t you back out?”
Not intending to is the next cause, such as just playing around, seeming challenging, not sincere, not thinking about anything at first, or just having fun, but after a while it becomes serious...
Ultimately, the root cause of people’s inability to control themselves, regardless of the reason, is their failure to withdraw. If they had been aware of this before it happened, before they got too far, they wouldn’t have had to try. It’s not called controlling their emotions. Emotions and feelings are delicate and sensitive to different people. Of course, it’s best to keep fire out of the fire and not push yourself to the point of having to control your emotions, as it’s difficult and impossible to control.
Or the reason people don’t control their emotions is simply carelessness with their hearts and not thinking about managing them in the first place. When they try to prevent them later, they often cannot control them, or they are unable to do so promptly. It’s up to them to decide how they’ll end up.
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