This article in the category of love and couples is not a Dharma article or will speak in terms of any religion. It just has the angle that “moral” and “giving” may make married life-love life go well. It talks about it in a way that is not related to merit, sin, or goodness but is the nature of the relationship of couples who are always Moral and always giving.
We may have heard the word “always Moral, always giving,” but for some reason, I am more familiar with the word “always Moral, always giving” (have you ever heard it? Please tell me). Both have the same meaning… So, what do the words “always Moral” and “always Giving” have to do with love?
Starting with “moral” here, it simply means a specific behavior that is a regular practice. It is not something that is done once in a while. For example, if you normally speak rudely but speak politely some days, this is definitely not Moral…
The word “giving” here means giving (not eating :p ), which is not just “giving.” It means being willing or sacrificing to give. Therefore, it can be called giving alms, which, from one perspective, must not be biased against the word giving in the form of only a higher person giving to a lower person. That does not seem like a good thing. If we understand a little, think about it a little, we will understand.
Therefore, the interpretation in this article is that “equal morality” means people with similar behaviors or conduct of life. It can be any morality or way of life. And “equal giving” means a couple who give equally, which includes “giving” to each other. When combining these two things, it will be seen how the couple’s behavior and giving are given to each other. Or to summarize again, “how do they behave with each other?”
For example, in a couple where the man likes to drink, it is wrong if we only stick to the word morality, as in the Dhamma. However, a good or bad married life depends on whether they are equal. The man drinks, but the woman likes it so they can go together. Or if she does not drink, but in her opinion, she sees this as usual and not a problem, then it can go together. In this way, equal morality.
However, if the man is a drinker, but the woman does not like it, the more problems there will be because morality is not equal. This is a simple foundation. Now, if we say that Some things if we do the same thing, won’t it be bad? Like this, both like to drink. When drunk, won’t we fight each other? Will there be more problems? This needs to be considered further because it is another precept (another practice). For example, one party is drunk and sleeps, but the other party is intoxicated and causes a commotion. This is not considered a precept that is agreed upon because the party who is drunk and sleeps probably doesn’t understand why he has to cause a commotion, why he doesn’t sleep! It isn’t easy to be together. It is considered that the precepts are not equal.
Equal does not mean that they have to be the same.
But equal precepts mean just acting the same. In the original example, even though the woman did not like or was not satisfied with the man being a drinker, at one point, she thought, “I can accept it,” and backed off. This is like “giving." In this case, the couple’s life can continue. However, if the man exceeds the limits of “willingness to give,” such as before, even though he was a drinker but did not interfere with work, later on, he starts to interfere with work, the other party will not be satisfied. It is considered beyond willingness.
“Always giving” does not mean you have to give similarly. When the woman accepts the man being a drinker, even though she does not drink, she must also feel that she has received other kinds of sacrifice from the man. Because if one side always has to give in, you can imagine what it will be like one day. Because people may be willing to give more than others for a period of time. “When time passes, if you don’t receive anything back, what you give will become worthless every day." When that day comes, you won’t eat the same.
Equal does not mean equal in quantity.
In fact, one important thing is the word “equal.” And equal does not mean equal in quantity or countable, even in “our feelings.” Because giving something, the value to the receiver is difficult to measure. For example, if we give 100 baht to 2 people, each person will be grateful or see the value differently. Therefore, even the giver will not know how much the receiver sees the value..
That’s why many people wonder about some couples. It’s like one person is so good, the other seems to be a loser. Why can they stay together for so long? It’s because they may not be suitable for anyone except their people. Or the other person sees something in them that other people don’t necessarily understand or receive because they are outsiders.
But there is another form: people who don’t see their own worth or see themselves as not deserving of anything better. Outsiders see that “He should be better than that.” But he himself will see that he is “equal” to him, which is appropriate, so he can stay with someone who is useless.
However, if one day he sees something change, develops himself, has a better perspective, and becomes more confident in himself, morality and behavior will change, giving and acceptance will change, and they may not be equal anymore.
Or in the type that endures, expects good things that the other person will give, or hopes that he will improve, including returning to being suitable as before. This is not equal from the beginning but is expected to be equal only. If the other person does not change, it will probably separate and break up one day sooner or later.
And equality does not necessarily have to be achieved from the first day.
Finally, if we agree or understand that morality is equal, giving is equal here; it is unnecessary to give to each other from the beginning. It is also possible that we may meet someone who does not know themselves, does not know enough, that is, morality is not stable, giving is lacking, speaking generally, it is a fickle person, acting restlessly, life is not stable, and has not found their own needs. In this case, people who do not know enough are problematic for morality, giving to be equal to us or anyone else. How can it be equal when they are still swinging back and forth today?
However, Ultimately, people change, more or less. At this point, we can conclude that if two people “accept and forgive each other, adjust to each other,” they will eventually be equal and can stay together for a long time.
Today, How we treat each other, how much we give each other, and how much we accept each other. And it is not just one side. That is the origin of always giving, always giving. It may not be today, it may not be this person, it may not be him and me. Anyway, I hope you find that person.
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